At every one of my book signings, it is inevitable that a random stranger will stalk my signing table as if they were on safari and I was a bird with some rare sort of plumage. They end up confessing their longtime dream of becoming a writer. I think they believe somewhere in the backs of their skulls that trying to peddle your art in a bookstore signing for several hours is glamorous. Don’t judge them . . . let them have their fantasies.
Though there are some down sides to the whole writing career concept, there are some definite perks:
Top ten reasons you should be an author:
1. It’s one of the few jobs that can be done in your pajamas.
2. When your spouse comes homes and finds you lounging around on the couch with a book in your hand, you can always smile and say, “I’m studying my genre.”
3. No one gives you a second glance when you start talking to yourself, because that’s just what crazy writers do. It’s expected.
4. You can write off vacations from your taxes as research as long as you use the locations in your writing (I think my next character needs to hike Machu Picchu).
5. It’s one of the few jobs (besides being a lawyer or politician) where you get paid to make things up.
6. If you’re in a foul mood you can blame it on your characters misbehaving, or you can blame it on a cruel Goodreads review. No fair jury would convict you.
7. Unlike reality, you have time to come up with smart remarks and clever comebacks so your characters can always sound brilliant even if you don’t.
8. You get to throw around words that make you sound important like, “My editor,” or, “My agent,” when you’re talking to people who were jerks to you in high school.
9. You can count the hours you spend messing around on Facebook as important marketing time.
10. If someone ticks you off you can write them dead in your next book.
Writing has been a million shades of awesome for me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve met some of my best friends on the planet through writing and cannot imagine my life without them. And there is something truly humbling about reaching the end of your story and realizing that you’ve accomplished something great.