“Ten Literary Characters I Would Totally Make Out With If I Were Single and They Were Real But I’m Not, Single I Mean, I Am Real, But I’m Also Happily Married and Want to Stay That Way So Maybe We Should Forget This.”
Rather than forget this, my husband is out of town. I just finished writing my latest novel and It’s a cold rainy day outside–the perfect cuddle-with-a-good-book weather. I will now introduce you to the characters who I would totally make out with if they were real and I were single. (but they aren’t real . . . and I’m not single. Nor do I intend on ever being single, and if I start claiming them to be real (or myself to be single), then we know I am past therapy)
1. Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen). I know no one is surprised. Mr. Darcy is my comfort. He is my right when the whole rest of the world is wrong. I’d make out with him. I tell my husband all the time that Mr Darcy is his only competition. My husband is grateful Mr Darcy is fictional. He’s the perfect guy. He’s handsome, well-educated, a man of good sense and taste. It doesn’t hurt that he’s fabulously wealthy and the owner of Pemberly. A man with such reservation would likely be one passionate kisser. Yep . . . he’s choice number one. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” MMM-Mercy!
2. Mr Knightly from Emma (Jane Austen). I know I know . . . Jane Austen isn’t the only writer out there, but she’s the one writing guys I’d be willing to snog. Knightly has a great sense of humor (he puts up with emma’s antics after all) He’s also handsome, gentlemanly, a man of good sense and good fortune, but he’s also kind and good. I have to say I am incredibly attracted to goodness. It’s all fine and well for a man to be handsome, but a pretty face gets boring if nothing intelligent comes out of it. It’s all fine and well for a man to be rich, but money cannot buy my respect. He must be good–inherently good. But wait, we’re talking about making out with fictional characters so I’ll try not to digress into the inner workings of what makes Jules tick.
3. Nat Eaton from Witch of Blackbird Pond (Elizabeth Speare). I loved Nat from the very beginning when I was in eighth grade and in Mrs. North’s English class. I read that book so many times, it became tattered to the point of non recognition. Nat . . . you will always be my first love.
4. Jake from New Moon and Eclipse (Stephenie Meyer). I’m with Luisa. Why would Bella go for some cold undead guy when she could have a hot wolf man on a motorcycle? I don’t want to make out with Edward. He’s too cold and I don’t like being cold. I would much rather the warm guy who make me laugh over the cold guy who makes me act like an obsessed idiot. (Besides Edward is such a control freak, a girl like me would never fly with a guy like that).
5. Matt from Eye of the World (Robert Jordan). I love Matt. I’d dance a jig with that guy. He’s got that foxhead medallion thing going on.
7. Tristran from Stardust (Neil Gaiman) I love everything Neil Gaiman writes. But Tristran is awesome, confused in love, reluctant hero. I’d snog him–no questions asked.
8. Westley from the Princess Bride (William Goldman) What’s not to love about a guy who always says “as you wish?”
9. Wolf from the Tenth Kingdom (Kathryn Wesley ) Maybe it’s just that he’s a wolf. I totally love Wolf. He’s sooooo funny and he’s got that sexy wolf thing going on. I’m betting a snog with that guy would be fun.
10. Every male character I write. know I know. It sounds so narcissistic, but I characterize my heroes after my own husband. They usually have hazel eyes with the golden flecks, and tiny crows feet in the corners of their eyes (indicative of a man who is always laughing . . . light that is an attractive thing). I make them funny, compassionate, intelligent, righteous without being self-righteous. I made them the same as the man I chose to wake up to every day for the rest of my life. And I have to be honest . . . I don’t want to make out with anyone more than I do him. Let the snogging begin!
I tag Tami Norton, Karen Hoover, Candace Salima, and Shanna Blythe